Reflections
by Nutzoide
Summary: The sequel to Respite. Boredom leads to thought, thought leads to introspection, introspection reflects both the past and present but they all lead to the heart in the end.


Reflections

Another legal bit: I do not, never have, and however much I might like to, never will creatively own Metroid or anything from it. This is written for free, so there's no need to sue. All original characters are my own and may not be used without my permission. Thank you.

Another non-legal bit: This is a sequel to my story Respite, and it will probably not make much sense unless you have read that since it builds on what was set up there. This story is set after Metroid Fusion, and assuming they make more games set after that then it probably diverges from that point too. It is also shoujo-ai flavoured.

* * *

Reflections

- A Metroid Fan-Fiction by Nutzoide -

Waiting was always the worst part. No matter what had to be done, there was always the long, tedious limbo that filled the gaps in between. Space travel made such boredom commonplace. Contract work had the perpetual hunt for jobs and the space between commissions always managed to feel like an eternity of wasted time, no matter how needed to retain a person's sanity it was. At times like this even her thoughts seemed unproductive.

* * *

'Been and gone. Again. The possibilities hadn't panned out, but I didn't expect they would really. Dealing with the kind of corporate politics that are probably involved here doesn't make information easy to find. It would have been so much easier if it was just a small group of criminals, but then how would they get their hands on a metroid? It doesn't make any sense, but I suppose it never did. At least we know for sure it isn't a regular criminal set up behind it.

'There's a lot to be said for the underground grapevines. Where to steer clear of, who to look for, things to find. They have some great not-so-legal markets. It's not like I've ever cared how I get what I do as long as I can. It makes making a living easier, and if someone has a problem with that then they can shove off. It's not like what I do is easy or anything. I'd like to see the geeks and posers try it, and I'll laugh when they get their heads blown off. That's why the underground is such a last resort. Everyone thinks they've got what it takes, but they're all talk and no balls. And of course, a vine is only as good as its grapes. It's useless when we need something that's been properly concealed.

'I wonder if anyone would think me capable of thinking that. Cold, closed off, law abiding me. ... Why should I care what they think? It's impossible not to though. Hearing the whispers and rumours begins to grind you down after a while. And of course lashing out only makes it worse. People forget how strong I can be. They should learn to keep their mouths shut, but putting a guy on his back makes them whisper all the louder.

'I don't hide away. This is just the way I am. I didn't create this ice queen image for myself; everyone else did that for me. Not putting up with idiots makes me anti-social? Bullshit. I've had friends. I have friends. And they're not the morons that everyone thinks I should put up with. I haven't given up my life for alcohol, money or wasting time the way everyone else seems to find so satisfying. If I have given it up, then it's been for everyone else's good. I'm not some selfless heroine, I've always had my own agenda, but I _have_ made what I do worthwhile. I'm not a heartless bitch either. If I was I'd never have done so much of what I have. There was an easy road. I just didn't take it.

'No, I'm not complaining. Or making excuses. It just seems like it's not been worth it sometimes, especially when things don't work out in the end. That one small alien appearing suddenly pitched my life on its side. Everything became too complicated. I couldn't do much to find out what the hell happened, it's not my area, but still, it's a disappointment. I could see it in her face too.

'I wonder if Sam ever feels like this?'

* * *

"Ms. Aran, I can see what you're saying but what has happened here is unprecedented." The middle aged tech looked at both her and Patricia with hesitant eyes. He didn't want to get on their bad sides but there was only so much he and his team could do. "We're not even sure the plating will take, and we're at a loss as to how to adapt it to this morph ball capability you have."

Samus frowned at him. "Which is why I brought Trish. She said it's possible."

"Well sure it's _possible_," he said, a little fear beginning to creep into his voice, "but the chances of actually getting it to work are remote."

His eyes slid over to Patricia. "I don't doubt Miss Lands' abilities, it's the practicality of the whole thing. We need time. Now the Federation-"

"I'm paying you for this. If I wanted them I wouldn't be here, understand?"

Patricia was startled by the suddenness of Samus' response. Had it really been that bad? Evidently the tech believed it had, and he nodded in compliance.

"Look, okay, we'll try." He gave the pair of them a hesitant smile. "You're a great customer and we appreciate the chance to study this kind of thing; just be aware there's only so much we can do."

Patricia could tell that it wasn't what Samus wanted to hear, but it was enough and the bounty hunter nodded, her face becoming neutral once again and even giving him a minor smile in return. "Thank you Dr. Sein. You'll have a few weeks, so make it work as best you can."

"We will," he assured her, before leaving them to assemble his team. Patricia knew this was a real chance for them, both to study the suit and the effects the X had had upon what had been left of it.

"Don't you need to go?" Samus asked her.

Patricia shook her head, looking over to her friend in the hospital bed. It had been a real surprise to see her return in the strange new suit, even after having been told of its appearance over inter-stellar radio, and finding out they had had to surgically remove it had been an outright shock. "They'll call once they've studied it and figured out how to attack it. I figured you could use the company after going under the knife. How does it feel?"

"My hand's still numb," the hunter replied, losing the professional hardness in her voice and face. She felt drained. "And there's something trying to eat my spine from the inside out, so generally pretty crap."

Samus was never one to sugar coat the facts. She gave a shrug, looking down at her limp right arm and the new run of metal that adorned it. "At least they said the sockets'll work fine. Better than the scars. The gun's easier to use, but I'm not sure it's worth having it burrowing into my limb for the privilege."

The deadpan tone of voice belied an uneasiness in her friend, Patricia could tell. The suit was such a major part of Samus' life; something like this must have shaken her a lot. "Sam, is it worth replacing the outer armour? It must be easier to move in now, and you've recovered all the suit's functionality."

Samus shook her head. "It's not good enough if I can't rely on it for protection. The armour strength isn't nearly what it was, and the only reason I could deal with the situation was being able to absorb the X. They're gone, so I need my old protection back."

"You do realise it won't be as strong as before." Patricia knew she did, but it had to be said again all the same. "Especially not if we can't somehow get it to bond to the new layout. The X fused the cybernetic circuitry and ended up compacting the whole thing into the undersuit with the bio-channels it made. Tapping into that is going to be hard."

"I know it won't have the same level of resistance, but with the fusion suit as an underlay it'll be better than it was. And you'll have more room for materials. Extra backup energy cells, missile and bomb charges, the lot. Recycling power is good until it gets spent on absorbing damage, and at the moment it takes too little to use that up. As for getting it to bond: you haven't let me down yet. Although that phazon cannon is slow in coming!"

Patricia took the jibe and rolled her eyes. "Right. No pressure then. Maybe I shouldn't have bothered with software and studied bio-tech instead."

"Haven't the Federation sent you the data they had?" Saying it evidently left a bad taste in her mouth, but she would have been up in arms if they hadn't. After all they had put her through they had better have given Trish what she needed.

Patricia nodded, but didn't feel as happy about it as she could have. "Yeah, but I got the feeling they wouldn't have even talked to me about it if I hadn't sent them what I had when you were infected. In any case it's a lot of supposition and theory, but they were pretty much guessing when they were treating you. It'll help, but I don't know how much."

Samus huffed in annoyance at the whole thing. "After what they tried to pull with the SA-X I wouldn't be surprised if they've hidden most of what they found out. Assholes."

Patricia shared the sentiment, but for the opposite reason. "I hope they have. If all they had was what they've sent me I wouldn't want you within three light years of them if you only got a cold!"

She was glad when Samus chuckled at that. They needed to get off the dead topic or Sam would just fester over whatever it was that the Federation had done to her. "Anyway, I'll do my best. Just remember that we don't have whatever alloy it was that the Chozo used. If, or maybe when you do find them then they'll be able to do much more for you than we can, even if we get it to work."

Sam gave her the first genuine smile she had since returning after the debacle on BSL. "Actually, I might have another lead on them. When you're done I'll try and follow it up. Just to know there are some still alive somewhere. I don't want the family I had to have been the last of them."

* * *

'There's so much to her that people never see. Or maybe they don't want to. I don't think she hides it all, they just make up their own minds and that's all they want. The Chozo for instance. There's this glow in her eyes whenever she talks about them, a vibrancy to her that no one believes she's even capable of. I don't know how she does it. How can she remember them with such happiness when they aren't there any more? Sometimes it's a wistful glow, sometimes a hopeful one, but she's never shed a tear over losing them. Maybe it's like an Irish wake type thing. She concentrates on their life, not their deaths, and so she always has good memories.

'But then, I suppose the Chozo never really die. Even when they need help finding rest, Sam says you can still feel them afterwards. A sort of spiritual tingle in the air. Maybe that's just the blood they gave her or maybe it's real, I don't know - I'm a scientist - but she feels it. I would have thought visiting their dead cities of stone and water would leave her mourning but she never seems to come close to that, because she can feel them. I don't know, maybe she does grieve and just doesn't tell me about that, but she makes them a source of strength rather than an emotional weakness.

'And how many other people have seen even a glimpse of that? What small fame she has has not been kind to her. I'm amazingly lucky I've got to know her as she is rather than as what people want her to be. They want an icon. They know her as a warrior: as a suit. How many people recognise her face? How many even care that she has one? She's a goddess of the hunt, but not because she takes life. That would just make her a murderer. In fact the whole goddess image makes me worry. A huntress yes: a leader and provider who will kill expertly for us. But a goddess? All powerful Samus Aran to whom we can lay all our problems? She's only human. Well, she's more than human, but she's her own person. Why do the cult icon fans have to go so far when they know so little?

'But then, am I any better? I've never seen this cold hard killer that everyone else sees in that visor of hers. How can I say I know her when the image that has grown up around her bears so little resemblance to the person I call a friend? Finally seeing her fight, and against a metroid at that, I still don't understand. She was professional, skilled and out of her element without her suit, but I would have half expected her to make a callous quip before finishing the creature if I had listened to some of the others there.

'It's all built on rumours and reports, not on her herself. And I've never had to face the huntress, or if I have I wasn't paying much attention at the time. I must have seemed like I was asking to be put in hospital, ignoring Samus Aran in favour of her power suit. She didn't have her fame then though. That came with the metroids, or rather the information that ended up coming out about them, and Sam's ability to fight them. She told me what she was contracted to do, however justified or difficult the task, could almost have amounted to genocide. Is that fashionable? I wonder if her reputation scares people away from her as much as her bare way of speaking puts them off. When we do wander the station she doesn't get a celebrity welcome. They clear the road and stare in morbid fascination, but how many of them would keep that up if she looked their way?

'She doesn't care, but what is the good of fame, even on the small scale she has, if it isn't something you can enjoy? It just gets her more dangerous jobs. It's ironic in the most unkind way, and even if that doesn't matter to her, it does to me. Dangerous lives are short, no matter how talented or well equipped the individual. Why should that be the way it turns out for her, just because she's a 'huntress'?

'I just realised. I don't know how old she is.'

* * *

Samus was just sitting there on the floor, an almost calm look on her face. Patricia had forbidden her from sitting on the bed in her suit because she would likely have wrecked the mattress, but she didn't mind in the least. Her helmet lay on the floor beside her as she finished sharing her latest experiences on Zebes. Of course, they were slightly edited, and Patricia could tell that, but it would be a long time before she realised just what it was that Samus had been editing out, and just why the calm didn't quite reach her eyes. Losing a child, of any species, tended to leave that kind of hole.

The Federation had also forbidden her to reveal many other details she was now telling her friend, but if they were going to penalise her for the planet's destruction then they could stuff it. She'd done them a major service, and they would inevitably come back for her help again later.

Patricia listened in rapt amazement. She didn't know how to deal with her recent realisation about herself, but even though she knew little of combat and Samus' trade she was on the edge of her seat as she heard of her friend's escape.

"Wow," she exclaimed as Samus finished. "I guess it's kind of an end of an era then. No more Zebes, no more Ridley, no more Mother Brain. No more metroids even."

That was the way it always seemed to be on Samus' big endeavours. So much of what was happening and what had happened was due to other parties. In the end it all boiled down to the metroids. In Samus' mind the metroids were simply another potential threat, but they always managed to steal the thunder in the end. Some way or another. It didn't say much for the Pirates, that was for sure.

Samus nodded. "Yeah. I'm sure the Pirates have operations elsewhere, but after losing everything and everyone on Zebes they won't amount to much for a very long time. I made sure Kraid and Ridley were gone for good, Mother Brain turned to dust right in front of me, and then the planet went up. It's about time I was able to say good riddance to them for good."

Patricia could almost see the credits go up. Now there was some proper closure and Sam could get on without the lot of them hanging over her. "So," she asked, trying not to be obvious, "are you going to stay for a bit? We can go out and celebrate."

Samus cracked a grin. "Why not. Just as long as I can get out of the suit first."

Patricia wasn't used to Sam agreeing to something like that without a little prodding first, even if it would just be the two of them sharing a bottle of wine in a decent bar. It also meant there wasn't much else to say right then. The pleasant atmosphere of satisfaction and company in which they could relax meant that small talk would have been a bad idea. The concept of companionable silence was one they played well, and as pleasant as it was just to make their inane chat at times right now all Patricia would have got would have been one word answers.

Patricia didn't know how long they sat, and Samus didn't care. She hated it when people tried to make conversation when it wasn't needed and they just talked at her. Especially when it was work. In fact it had taken her a little while to get used to Patricia's banter, but they had somehow found a point of mutual ground they shared. The fact that Patricia was highly intelligent also helped!

She was broken out of her reverie by Patricia's question though.

"So, what are the Federation going to do now that they don't have a metroid to study? I bet they were really pissed over losing their un-cloneable specimen."

Samus looked at her in surprise. "What? How did you know about that?"

Patricia just gave her a smile and walked over to lie behind her on the bed. "It was leaked, and the scientific community doesn't let information like that go easily."

"It figures." She could tell Samus couldn't really care less though. "The Space Pirates tried to clone them, and all they got were weak imitations. The Feds were livid about letting Ridley make off with it, but at least the researchers said they got a lot of good stuff before Ceres went down. Heh, I'm starting to get a reputation for mass destruction too."

"So what?" Patricia chuckled. "It'll keep the bounties in line."

"Or make them run faster," Samus replied. "Actually, some bounties that run would be welcome. I could do with some easy money after scouring Zebes for Pirates."

Samus stood up, working out the mild ache that sitting on the floor like that had put into her leg. "Anyway, let's go for that drink. I'll get out of this thing. See you in a bit."

Patricia couldn't help but stare as she left. 'Jeez, pull yourself together girl,' she told herself, then she set about finding something to wear. A battered T-shirt and grease stained slacks weren't ideal for going out. She stripped out of them and pulled on a blouse and the only skirt she owned, a medium length deep green one. Looking in the mirror she could see her hair was hardly flattering as short as it was, but that was who she was. At least she had decent legs or else she'd have had to dig out her old suit trousers, and they were very severe, saved only for big contract deals. Not that she needed to convince people to hire her these days.

She had to wonder what Sam would be wearing. She had so rarely seen her out of the suit, and when she had it had just been small leathers or very casual outfits. How Sam managed to spend so much time in that armour was beyond her, but apparently it had its benefits, and it meant that she was always ready for action.

The knock at the door made her jump, but she knew who it was. Strangely she gave herself a last look over before getting it. She never bothered with makeup or anything, but she could at least be reasonably presentable with Sam. That was the excuse she gave herself anyway.

Opening the door she almost had to do a double take. Samus had her hair down and was wearing a tight pair of black trousers, with a short vest and fairly nice open shirt worn over that. Patricia, even in as simple an outfit as she was, felt a little dressed up. Still, being so used to seeing the armour she would probably felt that unless Samus was wearing a dress suit, and the hunter didn't own one of those!

"You look good," she said, trying to rid herself of her unneeded hesitance. "I'd forgotten what good shape you're in. That suit does nothing for you."

"Thanks," Samus replied dryly. "You clean up pretty well yourself little girl." If Trish could get away with digs at her armour then her baby face was fair game. She was a little surprised when Patricia blushed a bit and averted her eyes, mumbling that she probably deserved that. Still looking so young was one of the few things she managed to get self conscious about.

"Whatever, come on Sam, let's go already before someone spots you and wants an interview."

Samus laughed at that, saying that nobody would recognise her out of the suit, and she was right. No one noticed them as anything more than two fairly attractive women going wherever they were going. Even seeing Patricia out and sitting at the bar, as reputable as she was to some on the station, was hardly a cause for comment.

Finally their drinks arrived and Samus raised her glass in a toast. "To the end of Mother Brain and her cronies."

"To now having a safer galaxy to live in."

"To having scared anyone with a bounty on them shitless."

"And to seeing the last of the metroids."

Samus slowly gave a weak smile. "Yeah, them too."

* * *

'She didn't believe that though. Maybe she was trying to convince herself that it was true, or maybe she started feeling conflicted about them earlier than I realised, but she knew they weren't gone. There's a lot inside her that she wants to keep locked away. I might even go as far as to say that's why she seems so shut off from everyone. Her feelings for the Chozo, the Pirates, the metroids, and the federation too. She hardly ever shares her opinions or emotions, like she doesn't want anyone but herself to get involved with the way they all end up looking when she sees them.

'I learnt that early on. Never give her advice on what she should do about the things that matter to her. She dislikes taking orders in her work, it's no wonder she's going to blow up at anyone who tries to do the same with her personal life. She's her own person, and woe betide anyone who tries to change that. Even me. I've never had to feel her knuckles, but she doesn't need to use them to hurt you. At least I deserved it, but I've not invaded her life like that again, and standing up to her over the phazon cannon was another experience I could well have done without. Especially since I was the one who was wrong again.

'But I have to wonder; can she do it alone? She's smart. She might not win awards for her IQ, but she has more wisdom in her blonde head than most. Even so, I've got no proof but I think it preys on her mind, not being able to reconcile everything in her life the way it was supposed to fit together. In fact, I think the only real constant in her life now is her vendetta against the Space Pirates. Her family and the Chozo are gone, her suit has evolved far beyond what it was designed to be, her job changes with each bounty and even the stable foundation she thought she had found with the Federation seems to have slipped from beneath her. And of course there's the metroids.

'Especially the metroids. She confuses me so much over them. She doesn't realise how much of her life they've taken over. The Pirates, they're her main goal, she's convinced that the metroids are just the tools that got used - a threat - but one like so many others she's faced. And yet the Prime metroid has rooted itself into the deepest recesses of her mind, and it's taken its entire species with it. Every metroid of whatever evolutionary stage since she faced the Prime has been a worry, one that she was sure she could overcome, but the memory of them festers in her like a disease. She speaks about them so often, and doesn't even realise it.

'Hyper evolutionary species are so bizarre. How do they go from one form to the other in the way they do? The Federation must know, because they managed to force them through it, but all we can do is guess. The sheer variety of forms allows them to adapt to almost any ecosystem, and then multiply by egg or asexual division. I still think the 'larval' stages are the 'real' ones. All their other potential forms are just to help the species spread, but once established they don't need to be anything more that what they hatch as. It is such a simple and devastatingly effective being before it evolves, then it leaves itself open somehow in favour of greater adaptability. Sam thinks I'm crazy for believing that, and I know she is the authority outside the Federation research teams, but that's how I think. Of course, I don't know how the Prime would fit in there, other than as the brain behind the reproductive mass of the Queen, but that in itself is enough for it to make sense.

'And then there was the newborn, and Sam doesn't know what to think any more. She hid that from me for so long, and now she feels as guilty about the metroids as she is afraid of what they can be. She even thinks that perhaps they see her as being one of them now. She doesn't know if she is really part metroid thanks to the vaccine, or whether she just has their DNA so that it could save her life. She felt sorry for it when it arrived on the station? I have no idea how to begin to understand that. She fights them, loathes those who abuse them, and has had them save her life. Does she think that she owes them something?

'How much did she really let herself care for the newborn that believed she was its mother? Why are they even able to imprint? Queen metroids caring for their young? Somehow that idea scares me, but I don't know why.'

* * *

"But what do you need me for Reg?" Patricia asked as the old lab worker almost dragged her down the corridor. "I don't do bio technology."

"This isn't bio-tech Patricia," Reg replied, forcing his aged muscles to stop complaining, "so it's not a regular malfunction. We're talking high grade pseudo-symbiotic cyber-tech way beyond what we can create right now. She even said something about the Chozo. We need every head we can get on this and you may not get a better chance to look at this kind of thing in your life, so for goodness sakes come on!"

Patricia finally started to keep pace. The very mention of the Chozo's old technology was enough to make any tech worth their salt drool at the chance to even take a look, let alone work on some. Why those avian beings gave it up in favour of their naturalist lifestyles floored human techs, Patricia included. Humans would take decades to even come close to that level of sophistication. It was times like this that made Patricia glad that she had involved herself with so much of the station's technical personnel, despite having to work under them for such little pay for so long.

"Chozo? I'm there old man." Reg cracked a smile as she began to lose herself in her thoughts. "But what's the rush? We've got this suit that could get you a Federation Science Award and you're not going to take your time over it? This is worth postponing your retirement for!"

"That's not the problem," said Reg between breaths. "She's still in the damn thing!"

They raced along the corridors of Cassidi station until they finally hit the Technical Research Centre and Reg led her to the medical wing, one place Patricia was glad she had never had to be before. People that needed to be brought there didn't make it out half the time. Patricia hoped that wasn't the case here; this was the chance to meet the only human ever to get their hands on Chozo technology!

It was easy to find the operating theatre they were heading to. The screams and expletives resounded around the complex like the last defiant words of a military captive having the life literally tortured out of her. Bursting through the doors and seeing for herself, that didn't look too far from the truth.

A red helmet lay discarded at the side as five techs continued in their futile efforts to cut, pry or pull the suit in question off its occupant, whose strong, pained voice shot out again.

"What the fuck are you people doing!? Get me out of this thing already!!"

Patricia's eyes widened when she managed to glimpse one of the techs trying to use a laser drill on the shining orange/gold metal. The surface pulsed faintly as the laser hit, absorbing the energy and reflecting enough back to cause the man to drop his tool as it sliced into his fingers.

"Idiot!" Reg shouted at the man despite being so out of breath. "I told you... not to use... energy based cutters! Get that hand... taken care of!"

The old tech quickly led Patricia over to the woman on the table as the others resumed their work. "It uses recycling energy conduction to nullify pretty much anything we do to damage it, and we can't get enough leverage on any section joints to pry them open."

Then the blond owner let out an incredible scream as both she and the suit spasmed, her back arching as her body succumbed to another horrifically strong dose of unneeded heart massage. Without the helmet to support her any more the techs dashed to keep her from breaking her neck in her contortions.

"How do you suggest we go about it?" Reg asked as the woman's spasm slowly fell into a small fit. "We need her out to even begin to try and repair the life support systems."

Patricia took a deep breath, trying to remain as professional as her mentor was despite the sight in front of her. "Is this a test or do you think I can figure out something you haven't?"

"Both."

Patricia watched as the woman's seizures passed, leaving her panting on the table. "Ask her."

"We have," Reg replied. "All she said was something about letting it seal her in the back."

Then they heard the pained voice, faint over the sounds of the struggling technicians. "Back... backplate."

The pair rushed over to her head and the others stopped to listen.

"I let it... seal itself... on the backplate." She gave a heaving cough. "And it lets me out when I want."

Reg looked over to Patricia, "But it thinks she's having heart and nervous system failure, so it's not going to let her out to die."

"It's just a fucking machine!" The blonde woman growled up, her eyes blazing at their apparent incompetence.

"Not while you're wearing it it's not," Reg replied calmly, and as if to agree the suit sent another dose of electrical charge through its captive.

"Hold her up, hold her up!" someone shouted as the woman arched again, screaming from the bottom of her lungs as the paralysing pain shot its way through her body.

Just then inspiration hit and Patricia spoke. "How long can she hold out?"

"I would have said this was too long," said one of the techs, "so not much longer."

As the woman's fit finished Patricia leant down and spoke to her. "Hey, what's your name?"

"What does it matter?" Samus retorted weakly at being talked down to by a teenager.

"It matters if I'm going to help you get out of this thing." Patricia replied. "What's your name?"

"Samus," the woman said slowly, getting her breath. "Samus Aran."

"Okay Samus, now I want you to will yourself out of the suit. That's how you usually do it right?"

"You think I haven't tried that?!" Samus spat back.

"But this time we're going to try and fool your suit into thinking it's done its job. Just keep willing yourself out whatever happens, okay."

Samus obviously didn't like being told that, but she nodded all the same. Her pride wasn't worth her life. "Right."

Patricia then leaned over to Reg. "When she next goes we get underneath and shock anything that might be the entry seams or casings. With her trying to get out and the energy conduction defences we might be able to finish making whatever connections are being blocked by the medical system, and so have that believe it's done its job. Assuming it uses electrical relays. Plus if it can short then it should let her out automatically right? So we win either way."

"That's a long shot Patricia," Reg said in an equally low voice, "but I've got nothing better."

Reg got the conductors, and all they could do was wait. Then, after an agonising minute Samus let rip with anther scream and the techs supported her as her body arched. Patricia and Reg were under in an instant, hurriedly probing at every seam and significant area they could find until the rear shell fell open, the large shoulder guards sliding forwards to let the other techs pull her free. Reg and Patricia just managed to pull back before the suit collapsed onto the table, but Samus gave a last cry of pain as she was pulled out and fell limp in their arms.

Reg immediately took control. "Set up a stable containment area and anyone who hasn't suited up for extreme risk do so _now_. I won't have anyone starting work until we've got it powered down. Steveson, call the medics. Patricia, take care of her until they arrive, then suit up."

Patricia did as she was told. She'd get to work on the suit eventually. She leant down next to Samus' mouth, but she couldn't feel anything on her skin. Checking her neck gave better results though. "I've got a pulse."

She took a deep breath and pinched the woman's nose before beginning to breathe for her. Samus however didn't respond for a long time, and Patricia was wishing the medical team would hurry up when Samus finally gave a cough and lurched upwards, Patricia still on her. The young tech was thrown to the floor but looked up smiling as Samus blinked and began to look about.

"Jeez, it took you long enough. I thought I'd have to kiss you 'till the medics arrived. Are you okay?"

Samus stared at her for a moment. "Yeah."

"That suit of yours is amazing, even if it is on the fritz. I'd love to have been able to get something from the Chozo like that."

Samus stared again, rather non-plussed, and was about to reply when the medics arrived. Patricia glanced over then got to her feet. "Anyway, you're all theirs now."

"Hey," Samus said as Patricia turned her back, "I need it fixed soon, so don't think you're going to start researching what doesn't belong to you. You aren't ready for what the Chozo have."

"You mean had. They're extinct!"

"No," she shook her head seriously, "they're not."

"Anyway," Patricia added, ignoring Samus' defiance of the facts, "what's the rush? They said you're a bounty hunter so you make your own hours, right?"

Samus nodded. "I need to get after Space Pirates. And something they've got called a metroid." Then she realised just how much she was saying. "Hey, who are you to ask anyway?"

"Oh, Patricia Lands," she gave a wave as she left to put on her gear. "Nice kissing you Samus!"

Samus frowned and removed her leather vest as the medics began to look her electrical burns over. That was easier than trying to move to a less open ward just now. And anyway, she wanted to keep an eye on her suit.

* * *

'That's one thing I never expected with Sam. She can be an insanely private person, but she isn't shy about herself physically. I wish I'd paid her more attention back then, because that one glimpse I was given haunts both my dreams and nightmares. That image means more than I thought it would when I realised what I felt. I think it's the only way she would ever be vulnerable to anything.

'Getting crushed by an escaping zip craft actually depleted her entire protective energy reserve, and so her suit malfunctioned. Thank god she could get here, even if she had to recharge to do it. It's happened since, but that first time it worried her. It made her think a little more about what she puts herself through, and for that I'm glad.

'I'm in love with her.

'I wonder if anyone else can tell. I've never been able to say anything, however much I want to. Something always stops me. How can you tell someone you love them when they've just survived an alien super organism and been chewed out for destroying it and the planet it lived on, or when you've just been attacked by a metroid when you least expected it. I tried when she came back from the destruction of Zebes, but what if..? 'What if' a lot of things really. The idea was so new then. I was just scared. I suppose, whatever excuses I make, I've been afraid ever since.

'I don't even know if any of what I dream of is even remotely possible. I could have spent the last year setting myself up for failure. I've never thought about the fact that I'm attracted to a woman. It doesn't matter in this day and age the way that it used to. The same with race, or colour, or accent, or anything else. Space eliminated that a long time ago, and there are other species if we want to worry about such things. Only now I know why it was such an issue back then. She might not be interested simply because of what I am. She might be disgusted. Okay, so that one isn't so likely, I really need to give those history books back to the data archive, but I've never liked taking risks when I have this much to lose.

'And then there's Adam. We never talk about relationships. Well, except that once, when I admitted I liked the idea of marriage. I should have said it then, the chance was staring me right in the face. Stupid.

'But yeah, Adam. Sam never really talks about specific people except for him. I haven't a clue who he is, but she was upset over him once. I didn't know her that well then, we were still just meeting thanks to the suit as opposed to seeing each other for a friend to talk to as well, but underneath the wall she had up I think she was upset, or else she wouldn't have mentioned him at all. And recently she's started mentioning him again. She likes him, even though I got the impression he's with the Federation, but for all I know he could be her husband. No, I doubt that, but I get so jealous of that name. I can only pray they aren't involved.

'What am I supposed to do in the end? Say, "Oh, by the way Sam, are you a lesbian? Because I've had the hots for you for over a year now and I really want to marry you!"

'Whatever happens I won't be saying it like that! She's right though, it's better to find out for sure and then deal with it than either living dreaming of a lie or living without something I could have. It's useless to promise myself I'll say it next time, I've tried and failed for too long already, but it _will _happen, because the longer I wait the more it hurts to let it slip away each time. I just have to hope there won't be any other crises to get in my way.'

* * *

Patricia couldn't help but find herself a little worried now. She and this bounty hunter Samus Aran had been able to talk openly with each other before the extermination mission to SR-388, but now it seemed that Samus was closing back in on herself again. She hadn't taken a job since then, and now, in her third visit since wiping them out she seemed even more reluctant to look for one, and she said as much.

"Unless they come looking for me. I just have to make my delivery, and then I'm going to stick to the things I want." The hunter rested her metal clad body against the wall.

Patricia gave her friend a sympathetic look, even though all she could see was the helmet and visor. Samus hadn't taken them off this time. "Are you sure it isn't the press? I know it's a pain the mission got leaked, but..." She stopped herself before she gave the advice. It wasn't needed, and wouldn't be well received. "It'll die down, and you don't have to explain yourself."

Samus just 'Mmmmed' in response before lapsing into silence again. After a moment Patricia turned back to her tools, giving a mental sigh. Why was Sam doing this? She had hoped that they were beyond hiding away in themselves when they had something on their chests. Evidently that wasn't going to happen. There was at least the fact that Samus was silent in her company rather than being so alone.

After a while however Samus did speak. "Trish, I'm not going to become a Federation poster child."

"What?"

Samus sounded fed up. "It was a job. They hired me and I did the work. I don't care if I have a history with them, that's all it was. I don't like the fact that I'm being made into some kind of hero for it."

"What are you talking about Sam?" Patricia asked, confused. "What you did was incredible! Of course they're going to call you a hero. Even if it isn't big news it's something to be proud of."

"Be proud of what?" Samus asked back. "I wouldn't have taken it if I didn't think I could do it. I won't be used as a model for the Federation. I don't belong to them."

Patricia nodded. "I'm sure they know that."

"I want to get the Pirates Trish. They know that too. Do I have to hunt them down myself after what I've done for the Federation? I've been paid, but are they going to cut my goals loose and keep my image because it suits them?" She sat forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "Hell, they might as well have planned the damned leak. I may have had to take orders but at least under Adam I was kept in mind."

"Everyone has bounties on pirates Sam," Patricia said, taking the initiative on the topic. "I'm sure one of the trading companies here could point you right if you wanted."

Samus shook her helmeted head. "Not regular cargo jacking pirates Trish, Space Pirates, the insectoid ones. Or rather their leaders."

Patricia was surprised at that revelation. "You mean the ones with the metroid? I thought you already finished them."

If she had been closer Patricia would have been able to see Samus' eyes narrow behind the visor. "No. The insects I couldn't care less about, they're just in my way now. But I've heard reports of a dragon out there. Ridley. And if he's still alive there's a chance the others might be too. Maybe even Mother Brain. I haven't spent my life hunting them just to let them slip through my fingers now. I'd have them already, but nobody has good reports, just rumours and random sightings."

Patricia was no stranger to obsession. She'd given up her childhood for her love of machines. However, this was something she's never heard from Samus before, in spite of the times they had spent talking together. "So... Why go after them? It's more than just the law, right? You've taken them down once already."

"Simple," came Samus' low, quiet voice. "They kill my people, I kill theirs. Don't give me that look Trish, I'm going to wipe them out. My parents died under one of Ridley's attacks, and they've been the ones to kill over half the Chozo settlements I've ever found. They die."

"And... then?" Patricia ventured.

"Then nothing," Samus replied. "End of story. I keep doing my job. It's negotiable."

There wasn't any more that needed saying. Why drag out what was better left alone? They filled the rest of the evening with small talk and silence, Samus' veil slowly lifting again as they did. Samus would talk about it again when she wanted to. For now she was just feeling raw and wanted to get onto a more pleasant subject. Vengeance took a lot out of a person.

When Samus finally left Patricia couldn't find it in herself to just let her go like she had before. She'd never said anything about her birth parents before, or the obsession that had taken over so much of her life. "Sam? I'll... see you tomorrow?"

Samus paused, her expression hidden behind the green visor. "Sure. Night."

* * *

'And there was more to it then even that. At the time I never noticed. I was too busy falling for someone I had only recently been able to call a friend. And Samus Aran of all people. I really know how to pick them. I knew I liked girls, and Sam is a real beauty under than suit in a stoic sort of way. It just hadn't crossed my mind that I'd start wanting more from meeting her than a friendly word.

'And of course it was then she ended up on Ceres, and back to taking down the Pirates. She got what she wanted out of it after all. I wonder why they call them that? Don't those insects have a name? Wouldn't their superiors give themselves a fear-inspiring title? Still, what do I know? I'm a technician on a research city-station, not a criminal psychologist.

'I suppose there is one other thing I worry about with Sam. Actually it's more about myself. Would I still love her if I saw her being what she is known for? She can't be wholly indiscriminate. I don't believe she's capable of it. Despite her loss she seems to have had a good childhood; she never talks about it with anything but affection. She may not be fully human any more, and she may not be as balanced as some, but she's still capable of feeling. I've seen it. I don't want to have to see her put that aside to do her job, and I never want to see the carnage I know she's wrought to those she hates with such passion. I could say I would love her whatever, but you can never know that until you have to put it to the test. And when I do what I know I want to, then I will have to face it eventually. I've already seen her slay a baby metroid.

'That must have been hard to do. At least if she had been able to use her suit it would have been finished without the need to think about it. She put off going to Ceres for one simple reason. She could say it was a simple rest period, or perhaps she found little things to do, but in the end it was the newborn. Just as the creature imprinted on her, she allowed herself to become attached to it. She's admitted as much to me herself, thought never that simply. Did the idea of motherhood appeal to her? I know it does to me. It's not like it would be a problem after all...

'Shut up Patricia. Just stop thinking. What does it matter? Sam gave up her child in the end because she was sure it was the right thing to do. Then she lost it. Then it died for her. Then its legacy saved her life, and after all that she had to be reminded of it by slaying one of its kin in a way that hurt the both of them far more than it needed to. Jeez, I'm thinking like I actually care for the metroids. Maybe Sam's confusion is rubbing off on me.

'But then, she did care for the little parasite. That's the turning point. She can be deadly, even brutally so when she needs to be, but she couldn't kill the newborn. No matter how cold and hard she can seem, I wouldn't be able to forget that she has the kindness that she's shown. And the reverse is true too. She's not just a kind heart and a pretty face. She's a blooded warrior, and if you forget that it's going to be your grave next to all those she's already filled. She's single-handedly reduced the most powerful Space Pirate forces to what might as well be nothing. It says a lot.

'It's a strength that I would feel safe within no matter what happened. She stayed for a little while before going Ceres, and each time we met up I realised that fact more. I just didn't know how far it had gone until she wasn't there any more, and I was left feeling lonely. After seeing her again afterwards, and proving to myself it wasn't my imagination, what I ended up doing was more impulse than anything else, but I couldn't help it. I needed to do something.'

* * *

When Samus had gone back to her quarters for the night both their faces had been slightly tinged with the drink. Neither of them drank often, so it hadn't taken much, but celebrating the fall of the Pirates on Zebes had needed to be done. Patricia hadn't gone back to her apartment though, and the effect of the wine had long since faded, only to be replaced with something better. She hadn't been imagining it. She... liked Sam. A lot. Those times she had remembered her while she had been away, followed by the longing ache, were things she wanted to live without. Not rid herself of the longing memories, but make sure she didn't have to rely on them any more. She didn't want to be left without her.

But, as she wandered through the station's corridors, she didn't know what to do about it. How do you ask Samus Aran out on a date? Even thinking that seemed absurd. And her feelings had carried her beyond that anyway. This wasn't a crush, and it wasn't lust, even though the thought of... that... made her blush.

She wasn't going anywhere, and didn't even notice where she was as she walked in her light, thoughtful daze. One foot in front of the other was all the attention her brain paid to anything except her confirmed realisation. Looking back on that she sometimes wondered what people must have thought as she wandered the station in the late evening. She was sure it had started some odd rumours.

How would she say it? It would seem so sudden to Sam, she was sure, especially since she felt so serious about it. It was by pure chance that when she looked up she was standing in the middle of the commercial district. It was hardly auspicious or meaningful, standing outside an oriental food parlour, but a few doors down she found herself looking into the window of the small jewellers.

'That's it,' she thought to herself. The potential difficulties in the situation didn't cross her mind, and nor did she wonder how she might say the words that went with it, being such a huge leap above what she had considered before. She wanted to be with Samus for as long as they both lived, as friends, companions and... lovers. That's all that mattered.

The voice of rationality for once didn't want to say anything to point out how awkward it could be. Samus was not the only thing in Paricia's universe, but she was the only thing she truly needed.

Plucking up her courage she steeled herself and walked into the store. With so many travellers running on different times few of the stores ever closed, but it did mean that Patricia was left to browse over the rings as the attendant slept in her chair. The security was high enough that it didn't matter, and being on Cassidi that was essential.

Patricia also realised she didn't have much money on her, and her account card was in her room. Going back for it would mean that she might chicken out though, and it wasn't as though she wanted something flashy. This wasn't some blushing young girl she was buying this for. Then, on the end of the row, one of the designs caught her eye. It was a garish and almost ugly piece, a gold one with an over-large medallion top, on which was printed the design. A circle shape with zig-zag fractures through it, and the letter A embossed over the top. The one next to it had a Z.

Patricia went over and woke the attendant, bringing her back to the case. "I'd like something like this," she said quietly, pointing to a simple but expensive gold band, "but I'd like to have that design carved on the inside." Now she pointed to the medallion rings.

The attendant gave her a funny look, but nodded. "Okay, I think we can do that, although it will bump the price up a lot and the engraving will take a few hours."

"That's okay," Patricia replied, "I can wait. I'll have to give you a deposit and pay later though. I do have a perfect credit rating."

The attendant smiled. "Assuming that's true then that won't be a problem Miss. Which letters would you like on them?"

"S please, but I only want the one."

The attendant obviously had to suppress her amusement. "Miss, this is wedding band," she said. "They come in pairs. I must say I did wonder about a girl your age marrying already."

Patricia tried not to feel offended, and the light blush she felt covered it well. "Umm... Actually, that is what I was ah... looking for. I'm not as young as I look. It's just that, well, I don't know how..."

The attendant nodded, understanding. She'd come across this plenty of times before. "You're just not sure if it will go the way you want? Well, I can sell you one now and the other when you know it is needed."

"That's fine," Patricia said, smiling and handing over one of her credit cards for the deposit.

The attendant returned her smile and took it, transferring the deposit from the money that was on it and checking out her credit status. "That looks fine Miss Lands," she said as she returned the card. "Since these are personalised we will do both now and keep the second safe for you. Which letter would you like on the one we store?"

"P please," Patricia said. It was simple, and maybe a bit tacky, but it would at least mean something, and it was on the inside anyway.

* * *

'If nothing else, it's a reassurance at times like this. Knowing I have it stops me questioning myself. I've never actually come to see her arrive like this before. It's fine once I see her, it's the waiting I can't stand. It's not like she's the only thing I ever have on my mind, but when she is there isn't anything left to worry about. Except telling her that! And now I have an excuse to be here to meet her, even if it is because I screwed up.

'She hasn't taken any big jobs since BSL, so she never had the chance to see if the replacement outer armour we gave her was the success we all hoped it was. It turns out it wasn't. She was calm about it over the comms channel, but it seems not all the armour took to the fusion suit properly. She had to use the morph ball function, and it sliced right through the shoulder guards as it reconfigured itself. Apparently the main chest plate almost cut her in half as well before it broke away. Thankfully she came out okay, but evidently we'll have to try and find out what we did right with the arms, legs and back that we didn't with the front and shoulders.

'It also means more time to study the suit, lucky us, but more than that it means more time out of the suit for her, and more time with her for me. I wonder what she ended up doing this time that caused her to need the morph ball. She just said she hadn't had much luck in finding out who might have planted the metroid when she was here last.

'... I can't stand waiting like this. I should have brought a manual to read or something. How can everyone just sit here doing nothing? They're right, I'm a workaholic, but better that than sitting here bored, anticipating seeing her again. It's nothing to get so worked up about. I feel like a kid waiting to be told I can get on with being kid-like.

'I wonder if she'll show me her other scars if I ask. She's seen mine, so it's only fair, and she has such great skin... Okay, so it's not all enlightened altruistic love. She's hot too. Still, other than those left from the fusion suit I don't think she has any, even if she makes a big deal out of them. Maybe that's _why_ she makes a big deal out of them. It's cool she doesn't have to be attractive to attract you though. I wouldn't mind if she was stuck in the suit full time, even though it might complicate certain things. That said, I look forward to the day I can feel her arms around me, and without the metal. I just have to bite the bullet.

'Oh, there she is, imposing as ever. She's right though, the suit looks a bit of a mess, and she's getting plenty of attention for it. I wonder where the other pieces are. Anyway, time to get her to the labs, before she gets too annoyed at these gawkers. Welcome back Sam.'

* * *

The End

* * *

Please take the time to leave some feedback or e-mail me and let me know what you thought. Thanks for reading.

Many thanks to Richard King for proof reading and technical advice.

(c) 2004 Nutzoide


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